5 Pitfalls of an Effective Leader #4 My Actions and Words Aren’t Influential

#4

My actions and words aren’t influential

There are two sides to this particular effectiveness pitfall that I will attempt to unpack within this short excerpt, however, there is a foundation of thought that perhaps should first be discussed, and that is establishing an understanding of what leadership is .

There are many definitions of what leadership is, depending on the circumstance out of which it arises. Within my current research, I’ve come across many definitions and have pondered their place within an Syilx-Okanagan context. The full extent of this pondering can be read when I finish my dissertation. For now, a handful of definitions will suffice for conversation. A professor of mine stated that within his years of study and research, he has concluded that leadership = survival. Ed Catmull, the president of Pixar (the company who has brought us Toy Story, The Incredibles, Up, Monsters Inc., etc) says that Leadership = creatively solving problems. Kevin Allen, who runs a mentorship firm states that leadership = “buoyancy,” or rather having a strong connection to the people you serve. Gary Yukl, a decorated academic, sums up the ranging definitions and states leadership = “intentional (social) influence exerted by one person over other people to structure their activities and relationships.” That’s a mouthful! The point in this breathless rush of definitions is to show there are many takes on what leadership is, and while I don’t necessarily disagree with the above definitions, I think there is a greater common denominator among most definitions. Simply put, leadership is influence.  From a Syilx-Okanagan perspective, in one of our core ceptikwl (oral traditions), Chief Black Bear lays down his life for the people-to-be, and, in concert, the other Food Chiefs follow suit. He influenced other leaders to give of themselves. There is so much more that can be discussed within this ceptikwl (specifically, Black Bear’s leadership qualities as they relate to Okanagan leadership), but for the sake of this post, we can gather that leadership and influence go hand in hand.

Influence can be a skill, a personality trait, or it can be something that resides innately within a person (whether realized or not) by doing the “right” things over time. This skill can be built by bettering your public speaking, your persuasiveness (which Arlene Dickason, entrepreneur and host of CBC’s Dragons Den, argues in her book, Persuasion, is crucial to business leadership), your writing, or your empathetic listening. The influence that is within a person, however, is built by achievement and thus by virtue of accomplishment, people allow you to influence them. The accomplishments can vary and are not limited to any institutional structure. For example, if a community member occupies a leadership role within a movement, or worked hard to achieve post-secondary degrees, or strove to build a successful business, or has served their community by showing up at community events to help, then they will most likely have an influential edge. The question now comes full circle to this “leadership pitfall,” which is when leaders don’t believe they have influence.

The first side to this challenge is when it can become a negative trend. If I am a leader, and I don’t believe I have influence, then there is the potential to hurt people, just like my toddler who tackles his older cousins because he doesn’t realize his unusual toddler-strength. Although the metaphor breaks down when we understand we aren’t toddlers (everyone laughs), the comparison still holds weight for leaders. We may not like to hear it, but it is true. We can influence people in a negative way, either by saying the wrong thing, not believing our words have power, or by performing an action, not knowing that our actions have impact. If the potential for negative impact weren’t real then just look at the closest relationship in your life and think of a time when you were hurt by what they unknowingly said or did. We are imperfect as people and as leaders; the response to this side of the coin can be a reassuring one, and that is to *breathe* and realize that you can use your influence to benefit others.

The second side of the influence coin is just that: not realizing we can positively impact someone’s day, and even their life. I think back to the times when a friend (yes, friends can influence and be leaders in your life) said a couple of encouraging sentences to me and it has forever positively impacted the way in which I carry myself. As a high school teacher, I had a student come to me at the end of the school year and confess he was no longer racist towards Indigenous people as a result of being in my BC First Nations 12 class. Here I thought I was doing my job! This class was no different than any other class I taught: I taught the class and performed to the best of my ability. The unbeknownst result was that a young, non-Indigenous man was influenced for the better. In my experience, and from what I’ve learned from others, there are times when our long-winded presentations have an impact, and there are times when they are only long-winded. And there are times when our short interactions with others can be the best thing for their world.

In realizing our influence as leaders, we become more aware of the effect of our words and actions on others, which is always a good thing. It doesn’t mean we are perfect, it means we strive to be aware of our influence to better those around us.