The Path to the Dysfunctional Side of Leadership…

Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a safe and happy holidays!  I had mentioned in an earlier post that I would be going into further depth on the topic of dysfunctional leadership. The first post of the year is an attempt to capture the nature and spirit of dysfunctionalism in the context of leadership, specifically by looking through a Syilx lens. My context comes from the history of our communities as it has been told to me and as I have experienced. Hopefully, at the end of this post, you will have a better understanding of what it means for your particular context and situation.

Mistakes vs Dysfunction

In  a community not so far away…..

Everybody makes mistakes, but mistakes are not inherently a sign of dysfunction. It’s important to differentiate between the learning process of making mistakes and the severity of dysfunctional leadership. The chronic repetition of the same mistakes creates a solid breeding ground for dysfunctional leadership. So is dysfunctional leadership just a series of mistakes to be learned from?  In my mind, there is a key feature that differentiates common mistakes from outright dysfunctional behaviour.

When we walk with humility and are mindful of our shortcomings, our stride is laden with care. We go into the red on our budget by 5%. (Hopefully you aren’t in charge of a multimillion dollar budget.) We forget to make people appreciated because our schedule becomes hectic. We say the right thing the wrong way because we are tired. In my estimation, these are examples of “mistakes.” When you are sincerely walking in manner that exudes excellence and generosity of spirit, these “mistakes” are not planned nor are they intentional, and more importantly, they are easily remedied. Work with finance to adjust your budget. Remind yourself that leadership is about valuing people. Practice your communication skills. Simple. So when does dysfunctional leadership start to rear its ugly head?

At a foundational level, it can be summed up in one word: selfishness. When a person is operating from a place of dysfunction, they chronically make the same mistakes, refuse to change those mistakes, and as a result, harm the people who they are meant to serve.  In fact, mistakes become justified habits that dysfunctional leaders count on! Their endeavours become inherently indulgent, they use people to their own advantage, and they adopt a privileged mentality with their bank account in mind. These individuals are steeped in selfishness.

The Fallout from Dysfunction

If there was a well-laid out path to the dysfunctional side of leadership, then we can look no further than the Rez version of Star Wars: selfishness leads to harming others, and harming others leads to the dysfunctional side!  Yoda was right in his warning to Luke!

Selfishness = Harm = Dysfunctional = REPEAT

The consequences of dysfunctional leadership are swift: people stop respecting you, stop believing in your vision, stop following your lead, and ultimately boycott your leadership brand. You may not lose your job right away, but you will lose your “buoyancy,” as Kevin Allen calls it. People may listen to you because it’s apart of their job, but in their heart they will stop backing you and respecting you.

And before the fingers start to fly, remember that “they,” can easily become “us,” if we are not careful. I have yet to see a dysfunctional leader in our communities who did not originate in some measure of good work. If we all have the potential to become dysfunctional leaders, then how do we keep our leadership walk untainted or at least imperfectly pleasant? I will be posting other aspects to dysfunctional leadership in further posts, but for now, here are 3 questions that can give you insight into evaluating/detoxing your leadership:

1.Are my leadership endeavours about me or about the people to be?

As I’ve mentioned in my previous posts, as Syilx, one of our core teachings found in the story of “How Food Was Given,” instructs us walk as leaders for the people to be. This includes our present and future communities. There is no skirting around this principle. Our actions should always have our communities in mind and not just us and a select few who can benefit us. When we do not have our communities in mind, selfish easily grows. Selfish/dysfunctional leadership ultimately leads to damaged communities. This selfishness can be expressed in different ways. Certain groups of people are minimized, while others (often family members of the positioned, dysfunctional leader) are privileged and cozy. This also can create a false sense of security within the leader’s circle that is easily toppled. The cure for selfishness is to always have in mind those whom we are influencing for the better. The polar opposite of a Syilx leader is being what we call “people eaters.” Everything is about consuming and filling your own desires at the cost of others. I’m sure we could all think of these types of people, but the better thought is to realize we all have the potential to become severely selfish.

2.When I am questioned or criticized, what is my response?

If you’re anything like me, you cringe when criticism comes your way. When you reject all criticism, you are telling yourself and those around you that you have nothing to change as a person and as a leader, that you are infallible and above reproach. This is when you become blind in your actions and start to hurt those around you.

In addressing the idea of criticism in my own walk, I genuinely wanted to stay clear of faulty criticisms and, at the same time, embrace genuine critique. The result is a filter and a process I’ve built to ensure that I am handling criticism properly. This filter has two aspects to its function:

1) I seek out functional, insightful people to be in my inner circle. In doing so, I have a solid group of people to converse with in the event of a critical enigma; furthermore, I allow them to criticize me knowing they have earned the place in my inner circle and have my best interest in mind.

2) I listen to others with a grain of salt and reflect on all I’ve learned and experienced. It’s no secret that people will lash out at you for their own issues, or have a false image of who you are and thus create unfounded criticism as a result. The solution is not to shut people off and think that leaders are above everyone else, but to listen regardless of the person or situation and have the strength to filter their words and guard your heart from emotional hurt.

3. Do I reflect?

Of all the inventions that have brought sanity to the world as we know it, the mirror, by far, is the most valuable. Before the mirror, people just walked around, talking, working, not realizing the potential in reflection. I’m being ridiculously facetious, but the power of self-reflection (not mirror specific) cannot be underestimated. When a leader does not take the time to reflect on their current endeavours, motivations, past successes or failures, there is the looming potential for the creation of a messy-looking individual. Reflecting enables us to see where we goofed, or where we could be stronger, which really comes back to doing the best we can for those around us. Refining who we are and improving what we do is a soothing exercise that creates long sleeps and deep peace.  In the same way a mirror helps us with our physical appearance, critically reflecting on our leadership helps us assess whether what we are doing is actually effective.

The Prequels…

To sum up this post on dysfunctional leadership, I will attempt to reiterate the spirit of the above questions by referencing one of our ceptikwl. For the sake of brevity and to avoid the depth of this story, I will paraphrase the story to draw out principles that are relevant for this post.

Coyote was eating berries on a bush.He was so obsessed with his indulgence that he became unaware of his surroundings.He became so enthralled with his find that he kept eating the berries, going around and around, lower and lower, eating and eating and eating. Raven noticed what Coyote was doing and called out, “Hey, everybody look! Coyote is eating his own poop!” Coyote, realizing what he had been doing, quickly became embarrassed and said, “No, I’m not!!”

This story touches on all the themes discussed in this post: Coyote became self-obsessed in his consumption and began to eat his own fecal matter; he bought into his own poop and did not think twice. His actions were completely and totally about him and he did not reflect on his actions. When he was criticized, his response was not productive but denial. In essence, as a leader in our stories, Coyote’s behaviour became dysfunctional as a result of his self-indulgence. Raising questions to ourselves should be a habitual ritual we should all strive to create in our inner lives. May the force be with you.